You know you’re a small business when…

Below are some tell-tale signs that I’ve come up with to detect whether you’re a small business or not. 

More than 25% of your workforce is made up of family members.

Your home office isn’t an occasional substitute for your office office.

Your conference room table doubles as a dining room table.

Your marketing budget includes a line item for business cards.

Your corporate web site is a Facebook page.

Over 50% of your web traffic comes from your home IP address.

Your employee perks include delicious sandwiches made by your mom. (Wednesdays ONLY!)

Post-it notes
Post-Haste Enterprise Resource Planning (Photo by Watchsmart)

You have to go to your accountant (as opposed to her coming to you).

Business processes are managed through a complicated system of Post-it Notes. You’ve named this system, Post-Haste technology.

You call your employees on their cell phones and occasionally ask them to pick up office supplies on their way to work.

Your lawyer has your emails marked as SPAM.

You tell people that the big monitor really helps you work more efficiently, but really, it acts as a screen so your employees can’t see it when you cry.

Your secretary is really just your voice-mail message.

Your voice-mail was recorded by your Aunt Gertrude – she’s British!

Your invoicing system is called “Sheet A” in Excel and your vendor management system is called “Sheet B.”

Your Contact Management System is a notepad with your realtors face at the top of every page.

Your employee stock option plan involves allowing employees to raid the stock room once a quarter. “Have at it, kiddies!”

(Feel free to add more in the comment section of this post.)